ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
