found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
