we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
