Why are handjobs necessary in class?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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