his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
