I need help removing her.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
