Just fell off a train. Bad.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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