So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
