is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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