That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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