I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
