Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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