I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
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