what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
