I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
