Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
