Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
