He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
