Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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