hell yes lets make some ravioli
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
