Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Found the puke drawer
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Randomize
