This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
