Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
