Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
