I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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