Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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