why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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