I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
