Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
