Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
