Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
my liver is dry heaving
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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