I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
