i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
