i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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