if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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