There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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