So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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