I got chris browned last night
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
