Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
