my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
