Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
