Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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