remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
babies were throwing up all over the place
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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