Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
