Yo dont text me then not text me
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Randomize
