You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
