I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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