i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
