I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
