I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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